"Homosexual practices are tolerable by the Bulgarian society"? Bad English copy in the Balkans

Want to make a negative impression that lasts? Are you into copy that makes you laugh and cry? Then look no further than the Balkans, where poor tourist copy thrives!

A “vistors” map anyone?

Want to make a negative impression that lasts?

Then look no further than going for the cheap and nasty and getting yourself some poorly written copy and content to advertise yourself.

If you hit the jackpot, you might get embarrassing examples plastered on social media posts that go viral. Win... erm!

Now that we're in the midst of the Northern Hemisphere's peak holiday season, tourists and visitors worldwide are encountering unintentionally hilarious/nonsensical texts and copy everywhere they go in the Balkans. Signs with instructions that leave you scratching your head; casual racism thrown in for safety advisories; mixing alphabets… the Balkans have it all.

So for your entertainments [sic], check out these brilliant examples (all unedited) from a free tourist guide for Sofia, Bulgaria, which I picked up back in 2009.

SHOPPING 🛍️
“If you are planning a shopping spree in Sofia, take a good stock of cash, but stay vigilant, as unpleasant surprises from olive skin pick-pocketers cannot be ruled out.”

“Buy a bottle of wine or rakia, which you might appreciate by merit with friends, while you share your impressions of the visit.”

GAY SCENE🌈
“Homosexual practices are tolerable by the Bulgarian society.”

CRIME 🚓
“Bulgaria has a middle crime rated compared the other European countries.”

NIGHTLIFE 🌃
“Entertainments in Sofia don't end with the sun going down and there is an energetic and enchanting feel about the many different night spot listed.”

TRAVELLERS WITH DISABILITIES ♿
“Although all buildings are required to be wheelchair-accessible and provide suitable toilet facilities, this is still a matter of future.”

PARKING 🅿
“Sofia City Council is hot on the heels of their Western counterparts with yellow wheel clamps, and if that's not bad enough they'll even tow your car away.”

Ready to pack your bags?

On a serious note, it's sad to see such writing when there are plenty of talented people in Bulgaria who have excellent English writing skills and the cultural awareness to produce great copy and content. Many in the region will tell you that entrenched nepotism and corruption are the main reasons why these talented people have been overlooked. Sensing a quick euro, many an official will claim, for example, that their teenage child can do the job as they “get top grades for English”.

And before you ask, fortunately subsequent copies of this Sofia visitor guide has seen the casual racism and some of the more whacky wordings removed and replaced. Pickpockets are not just “olive skin” anymore, but there’s still much more room for improvement.

And what do people in southeast Europe think about these poorly written English texts?

Well, many are completely embarrassed by this.

Take for instance this Covid notice that appeared in trams in Zagreb, Croatia in 2022. One Croat was so appalled by the shocking English, mostly a sloppy literal translation from Croatian, that they took a pen out and made some much needed corrections. The picture of the corrected notice went viral.

As what the Croatian media jokingly claimed, 'translators are obviously too expensive'. The comments many Croats made on social media attributed this facepalm of a notice to that unavoidable feature of Balkan bureaucracy — the uhljeb. To quote: “This is peak Croatian uhljebism; so lazy and stingy that they couldn't hire a normal translator for 50 euros”.

But wait, there’s more. In a Balkan answer to the famous engrish.com site with hilarious Asian examples of “English”, over on Facebook there’s the Prevodilački biseri (“Translation Gems”) group, where people from all over ex-Yugoslavia post laughable and cringeworthy translations and English text they’ve happened to encounter. A favourite of mine from the site is this sign from a venue in Belgrade, Serbia…

This goes to show to learn from experience and example: always go for the experts and professionals!

And if you’ve encountered some gems in your travels, then be so kind and share! We can do with a laugh

Happy vacationering! Happy vacationing! And I hope that you appreciate by merit with friends and found this tolerable.